Zelda Vacation
by scottishboy13
Summary: The zelda gang go on holiday!
1. Default Chapter

Zelda Vacation  
  
Chap 1: Packing  
  
Hey it's Scottishboy13 here saying I'm back and that means more Zelda madness! As for Zelda Extreme Sports I will try to finish it as soon as possible. Anyway after the torture I put the Zelda gang though I thought they deserved a vacation especially Ruto who is just back from reconstructive surgery and just to annoy Link she is going on holiday with the others. Link: That's not fair! Phil: Too damn bad! Link: I'm not going! Phil: You are going even if I need to stuff you in a suitcase! Link: I'd like to see you try! Phil: Fine I will use my author powers to cram you into a bag. Suddenly there is a bright flash and there is a suitcase where link was standing! Link: mmph! Phil: okay with him out of the way for the moment I can finish the introduction. Anyone who wants to be in this fic e-mail me at zeldamaniac2001@yahoo.co.uk okay with all that junk out of the way let the madness begin!  
  
Zelda is packing for her holiday and she can't decide what to pack Zelda: Now what should I take with me hmm. I know ill take a camera, a Bigass6000 deluxe water gun to shoot all the others heh heh! And 300 pairs of clothes! Now what am I missing? I know! I'll take my trusty GBA. There I'm fully packed and ready to go. Servant: We will need an extra plane to carry your luggage alone! Zelda: So get an extra plane! Servant: Yes mam! Zelda: Now get 10 guys up here to carry my bags!  
  
The boys are now packing for the holiday (except for link who is still in the suitcase) Ganondorf: Now have I got everything? Let me see *Pulls out a checklist* Sunglasses, suntan lotion, camera, spell book. Link: (muted) Hey you cant take that! Ganondorf: oh shut up bag boy! * kicks the suitcase repetedly* Darunia: I don't need to pack anything so what am I doing here?  
  
Phil: Time to go to the airport Link:damn you you asshole! Phil: for that remark I will get darunia to sit on you Link:F**k you Phil: that's it! Ruto goes in the bag with you! Link:NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Ruto: yay I get to be with link Link: why me? Phil:you should learn to shut your mouth!  
  
Next chap is the plane ride to the island of paradisio and one of the zelda gang is afraid of flying which one it is will be reveled in Chap2 Till then goodbye everyone!  
  
Phil-scottishboy13 


	2. The Airport

Zelda Vacation Chapter 2  
  
The Flight  
Hey it's scotishboy13 here saying sorry for taking so long but I had exams  
but anyway here is chapter 2 of the Zelda vacation. And as a treat for good  
behaviour I let link out of the case!  
Hyrule airport  
Link: C'mon we have to check in now  
Each person walks through the metal detector but as link is going through  
the alarm goes off.  
Security Guard: Please place all metallic objects on the ground Mr. Link  
Link pulls out the master sword  
Link: Should I put it on the ground?  
Security Guard: errrr.. Yes just don't come near me with that  
Link: I'll put it in the baggage hold OK?  
Guard: yes and enjoy your flight  
Link: Cool they have food shops here I'm off to check it out!  
Everyone else finds seats and sits down. Gannondorf pulls out a GBA and  
starts playing "A Link to the past", Darunia just sits on the seat until..  
CREAK  
Everyone: What the.  
BOOM  
Darunia: Oops seat go bang!  
Everyone: Darunia you fat ******* why do you need to break everything?  
Suddenly there is a lot of shouting  
Everyone: what is going on?  
Link: TWENTY RUPEES? , TWENTY RUPEES FOR A ******* PIECE OF CAKE! I'M NOT  
PAYING THAT YOU *****!  
Zelda: Calm down Link I have cake here for you to eat  
Link: yay. Link is just about to get a piece of cake when suddenly.  
DING-DONG DING DONG  
Zelda: oh well you will have to wait until the plane takes off Link.  
Link starts crying  
Link: I wanted some cake now!  
Everyone is now on the plane  
Pilot: Attention passengers we seem to be too heavy to take off so could  
Darunia please get off the plane.  
Darunia: How will I get to the island?  
Pilot: We have a heavy-duty cargo plane for you.  
Darunia: Bye everyone me go fly now.  
Zelda: I hate flying  
Link: just relax and everything will be fine  
Later on during the flight  
RUMBLE-SHAKE-CREAK!  
Zelda: what was that?  
Link: just some turbulence nothing serious unless.  
Zelda: unless what?  
Link: unless it flips the plane over.  
Zelda: LETMEOFFLETMEOFFLETMEOFFLETMEOFF!!  
Link: We can't let you out we are 30,000ft in the air  
Gannondorf: heh heh time for some fun. Hey Zelda do you know that there is  
a thin piece of metal separating us from a 30,000ft drop?  
Zelda: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
Link: Shut up idiot are you trying to make her panic? Are you that evil?  
Gannondorf: I'm the king of evil and of course I am that evil!  
Link: good point but could someone get the tranquillisers?  
Flight attendant: I'm sorry sir but we have none on board  
Link: ah crap!  
Gannondorf: hold on I have an idea!  
Gannondorf pulls out a baseball bat  
WHACK  
Zelda is knocked out and Gannondorf is holding a broken bat  
Link: You idiot! Have you killed her?  
Gannondorf: Nah she'll be fine. What's the movie?  
Link: I don't know but it's weird.  
Gannondorf: I think I'll play the GBA  
Link: whatever.  
Some time later.  
Pilot: Attention passengers we are now landing at paradiso airport. Thank  
you for flying Hyrule airlines.  
Link: Zelda wake up!  
Zelda: what happened? Where am I?  
Link: Gannondorf knocked you out with a baseball bat and then..  
Zelda: He WHAT!  
Gannondorf: it was to get you to shut up!  
Zelda: You son of a *****!  
Zelda blasts him with a magic spell that causes extreme pain (Think Mace  
but 10x stronger)  
Gannondorf: MY ******* EYES! YOU EVIL*****  
Zelda: Serves you right!  
Link: lets get our bags  
The gang are at the baggage carousel picking up their bags when.  
WHAM!  
Everyone: what the?  
Darunia: What a ride!  
Link: has everyone got his or her bags? OK then lets go to the hotel  
  
So what will happen in chapter 3? Only the sugar-crazed person in me knows  
and once again I apologise for the long wait. Till next time people  
Phil 


	3. Chap 3 First day Redone by Nyerguds

Zelda Vacation chap 3: Hotel check in and the beach 

My apologies for the lack of updating the Story. This is the most important year for me in School and I have had Prelim Exams and other things to sort out. I will try to dedicate more time to this story. Enough of my ranting and let the story begin.

We join the gang as they check in at their hotel

"For Ruto we have the Fish tank Deluxe, For Malon we have the barn special, For Darunia we have the rocky room. "the receptionist said. "Link, you have the treehouse, Ganon has the Evil castle room and Zelda gets the Penthouse suite."

"Excellent."   
"I'm off to unpack and then I am off to the beach." Link said. "Anyone else want to go to the beach?"   
The gang pretty enthusiastic. "Sure we do!"   
"Right then, we meet here in an hour."   
Everyone went to their rooms to put on their swimming gear. The guys had swimming shorts, the Girls bathing suits. Link was down at the Foyer first.

"Hey Link," Phil said. "I have something cool outside for you and Ganon."   
"What is it?" Link asked.   
Phil smiled. "Take a look."   
"Cool! Dune buggy's!" Link replied. "But why are there three of them?"   
"I'm going with you, and I thought the three of us could have a race across the beach."   
"You are on!" Link said.

Half an hour later, all people were down at the foyer "Everyone ready?" Link asked. "All right, let's go!"   
And thus, they all went to the beach.   
Zelda quickly found herself a nice spot. "This is a nice place to get a suntan."   
"And THIS is the perfect spot to watch link race and admire that body." Malon drooled.   
"Oh no you don't!" Zelda yelled, and started burying Malon in the sand. "I will be the only one to watch Link!"

Meanwhile, Phil was counting down for the dune buggy race to start.   
"Three! Two! One... GO!"   
The three raced along, until Ruto suddenly jumped out in front off link's Dune buggy.   
"I must be with my link!" she yelleed. Link just pressed the pedal, running her over.   
He looked back. "Ha, I finally got rid of her!"   
"I know you did not mean for me to get run over!" Ruto yelled after him.   
Link sighed. "Damn it..."   
Meanwhile, Phil was quite a bit ahead. "Hey... Ganon is winning! Time for a shortcut I think." He grinned.

A bit later, Phil suddenly turned up next to Ganon's buggy.   
Ganon frowned. "How did you do that?" he asked.   
"Author powers." Phil grinned.   
"See if they can help against THIS!" Ganon yelled, and rammed Phil's Buggy into a wall.   
"You !" Phil yelled after Ganon, as he disappeared in the dunes.

Some time later, they were all at the finish.   
Ganon walked around boasting to the others. "I won! I beat you two!"   
Then, he suddenly fell down a hole.   
Phil frowned. "How did that get there?"   
"Where do you think I've been?" Link grinned.   
"Nice one Link!" Phil smiled. "Let's bury him!"   
"Yeah!" Link agreed, and he started throwing sand in the pit.

"Malon?" Ganon's muffled voice came out of the pit. "What are you doing down here?"   
"That Zelda." Malon replied.   
"Hey I heard that!" Zelda yelled into the pit.   
"As I was saying, she buried me." Malon continued.   
"I have an idea to get her for it." Ganon said calmly. "Here's what we will do..."

Some time later, Ganon had gotten out of the pit, and executed his plan. He yelled at Zelda, who was standing some thirty meters away, a fake link standing besides him.   
"Hey Zelda, Link wants to talk to you!"   
"Really?!" Zelda gasped. Her eyes shone as she ran over to "Link", who suddenly ran away.   
It took her ten minutes of chasing the illusion before she realized it was a spell.   
"Ooooh, I'm gonna GET YOU for this!" she yelled. She ran back to Ganon and gave him a swift kick in the groin.   
"Not again!" Ganon whined in a squeaky voice.

"Hah." Zelda said. Satisfied, she went back to her spot to sunbathe and lied down on her towel, that suddenly gave way and dropped into a pit of crabs, together with the poor Zelda.

"OW! STOP THAT! Ow!" Malon and Ganon heard Zelda's voice from the pit.   
Malon high fived Ganon. "Revenge is sweet!"

Suddenly, Link ran past them, quickly followed by Ruto.   
"Stop running and be mine Link!" she yelled.   
Ganon tripped Ruto, an watched her skid along the sand.   
"Thank you." Link sighed. "Let's go to the hotel and get changed for the Party tonight."   
"Party? Sweet!" Ganon said.   
Link smiled. "Meet in the Foyer when you are ready."

Some time later, everyone was gathered in the foyer.   
All right, let's go." Link said. "Phil got us a private hall to party in."   
"Nice!" everyone agreed.

As they entered the room, they saw a bar with Phil serving, and a stereo with four five-foot tall speakers.

"Whoa! Party!" they said.   
"First of all I am picking a song." Link said.   
Zelda winked at him. "Make it something we can slow dance together Link."   
"Hah. You wish!" Link replied. He took a CD, and put it in the stereo. Suddenly, the room is filled with rock music.   
"What is that?!" Zelda asked.   
"Iron Maiden - 2 Minutes To Midnight." Phil grinned. "A personal favourite of mine."   
"Everyone shut up and get drunk!" Link grinned. "I bet I could beat you in an alcohol-drinking contest Ganon!"   
"Bring it on, sissy!" Ganon said.

Ten minutes later, Link and Ganon were still drinking.   
"And the score is Link: 46, Ganon: 45." Phil said. "Time to spike Ganon's shots."   
Thirty seconds later, Ganon was lying passed out on the floor. Link wasn't in a much better state though; he could barely walk.   
"Why not let me take you to your room, Link?" Zelda asked politely.   
"Huh?.." the drunken Link looked up. "Whazzever."   
Malon however, was quick to notice that. She walked towards them, looking quite angry.   
"You are not getting away that easily Princess!" she yelled.   
She picked up a vodka bottle and threw it at Zelda's head.   
"Missed me!" Zelda smiled.   
"Merely a diversion" Malon grinned, and speared Zelda through a thin wall.   
"Catfight!" Phil grinned, and jumped over the bar to follow them.   
In the heat of the fight, neither Zelda nor Malon even noticed that Link himself had left a long time ago.   
"OK, now this is getting sad." Phil sighed. "Hey Girls, Link is away."   
The girls looked up. "Link is away?" they said.   
"Yep. He mentioned something about going to his room and I saw Ruto go up after him."   
"That !" Zelda and Malon said together, and ran up the stairs to find Ruto dragging link into her room.   
"Come back here!" they yelled at Ruto.   
Soon after, the three girls were fighting upstairs, with Link passed out on the floor next to them.   
Phil sighed. "Another day another fight."   
He looked around. "Wait a minute... Where is everyone? Ah well, more alcohol for me. See ya later everyone!"

Been a long time since I updated. No excuses this time for it. Just could not find things that were funny. And this is the 4th rewrite of this chapter. Damn I'm pathetic. Chap 4's release is uncertain but if anyone wants to see it I'll try to type something up. That's it for now.

Phil


End file.
